James 1

James 1 is packed with some gooood stuff. What I  reading and thinking on today:

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless. Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.”

‭‭James‬ ‭1:19-27‬ ‭ESV‬‬

What have you been reading in the Word lately?

The Cycle

Since becoming a parent, the life cycle has revealed itself in so many ways. I spend most days in a circle. Performing the same routines over and over, day in and day out. 

I typically like routine, but some routines become…annoying. Picking up for instance. I have not in five years gotten used to it. The constant back and forth of toys, clothes, shoes etc. It is the most continuous portion of my life. 

I change out toys, I purge toys, I minimize clothing and shoes, yet the stuff still remains. I am pretty obsessive about having my living area cleaned up each evening before I go to bed. I have the kids help many days but some days when it has been hectic, I leave them out of it and don’t myself. Much faster not training someone else to do it. Talk about sloth mode! 

My living area has looked like this for over 24 hours now. This is not typical and is a testament to 1) how busy I have been and 2) how tired I am. My kitchen counter is a constant mess, but the living room floor being visible is my zen. 

My MIL is grabbing some new containers for me and I am going to be testing out a new toy idea. Thanks to my sister’s SIL. Putting the majority of the toys in bins and placing them in the garage, creating a “library” of toys. You must clean up one box of toys before getting another one out. 

Hopefully I can pull all of this together over the weekend and see how it goes next week! I have high aims, like I said, here’s hoping. 

Do you have goals for spring cleaning? Or spring purging? I thoroughly enjoy going through my house and getting rid of items. 

Here is to a happy weekend! If you live in the Florida panhandle, go check out the Word of South Festival at Cascades Park. Three days of literature & music! Should be very cool!

Quiet Moments

Yesterday morning we took our son to a local surgery center to have tubes put in and adenoids taken out. Having your child go under anesthesia is a nerve wracking experience. He came through just fine and spent the afternoon sleeping. 

This was on our way home. Side note: He used to call R2D2 beebooboop. Adorable. 

My mother in law brought my other two kiddos home and they were ready for naps. My youngest though tries to act as if he doesn’t truly need a nap. On these types of days, I will lay next to him and watch Parks & Rec or Frasier, whichever old show I am in to at the moment. Currently it is Parks & Rec…he lays and watches with me until he falls asleep. Typically halfway through the show even though Frasier actually put him to sleep faster than others.  

It isn’t often anymore that three kids sleep at once, so my quiet moments are usually in the evening. By that time, I am as useless as road kill and don’t get much done. Let alone sitting and reflecting on my life. 

I didn’t use my time yesterday to reflect much or even try to maintain the mountain of laundry. Instead, I sat and laughed at the jokes of Parks & Rec whilst eating my way through the snacks in my house. Some days, that is what we need. To sit and do nothing. Hashtag relax 

What do you do in your quiet time? Do you let your 18 month old watch a dumb show with you? 

The Switch

I go from being a frumpy stay at home mom to a decently dressed citizen. (Don’t mind my closet, it is organized but small.) 

I did not shower. I slathered on some make up, repositioned the hair tie, and slid into some new clothes. Added earrings. (That I love. My husband gave them to me and now I want a set in every color.)

Being a mom is tough. Looking like a mom is rough. There is a fresh feeling of dressing in clothes that make me feel good. Even when I haven’t showered in 24 hours! (Don’t worry. I eventually bathed.) 

What do you do as a parent that makes you feel good? Turns you into a human again. 

True Life

I always aim to be honest. Even in social media, I don’t pretend my life into a wonderful Pinterest picture. I am not interested in creating a fake appearance that everyone can look at. Instead, I am being real. 

In my effort to be real and honest with myself, I created an Instagram account for what I eat. I did not mean for it to become some public thing and yet Instragam has a way of sharing your news with people. Now my eating habits are being followed by 23 people. 

As I began to get followers, my first instinct was to hide some of the stuff I have been eating. Why? Because I rarely eat fruits or vegetables. RARELY. It is something I have struggled with for years and it has come to a head this year. My health isn’t exactly great and I have high cholesterol. So I need changes. Desperately. 

Anyway, having followers on my Instagram account has made me start second guessing my food choices which is initially why I made a food account. I read a study about people who took pictures of their food were more likely to eat less. (Don’t ask me to find this study because that is too much work.)

The good. The bad. The ugly. I think as a person I try to keep it out in the open. I like to think that people enjoy good refreshing honesty. You know what? Being honest with yourself is the first step in living it out in the social media world. 

Telling myself the truth. The cold hard truth is one of the hardest things I do. 

These are the rambling thoughts of a mother as she stuffs her face with tacos. Happy Taco Tuesday!

Yes my face is always that red and my hand is always that white. It’s an Irish thing? 

I Am Thirty

Yesterday I rung in my 30th year and what better way to do that than with a stomach bug? I have four kids and a husband. The stomach started earlier in the week for us and worked its way through one by one until yesterday when it hit my husband and myself…on my 30th birthday. 

I will spare you the details, just know, it wasn’t pretty. Never have I wanted a birthday to pass so quickly. 

This is life with four kids five and under am I right? Nothing is sacred or special anymore. It is filled with gross. They are blessed with cuteness or else I might be mad about my day being taken from me. 

Getting real, this is honestly not a surprising way for my birthday to come. Last year I began deciding that I was going to make some serious life changes. Self improvement type things within my own person. My 30th year was going to be a year of change and boy am I getting it. 

I started the year with what some may consider a mental break down. A collision of stress and anxiety topped with a few health issues. These health issues have continued and finally coming to head with the stomach bug. The mental side has been on a healing path due to some much needed counseling. Thank Jesus for those people! 

It has been a very up and down few months to start my year. It has felt discouraging at points but overall I feel as if this is encouraging. My plans for change will not be thwarted by set backs. I will press on. I will get back up on my feet and keep striving for what I want out of this year. 

The good, the bad, the ugly, the glorious, the beautiful…my path is constantly going in a new direction and my person is changing with each turn. I don’t ever want to stop changing and becoming the woman God has called me to be. 

Are you in a tough place? Seeing the light is hard in the darkness, but with Christ the light is always there. Are you dealing with unbelief? Check out Mark 9 when you get a minute, especially around verse 23…a father asking Jesus to heal his son. Jesus but it will happen if a person believes it will happen. My favorite line right now is what is next from the Father. “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”

Come on Jesus! We can ask him anything…even to help us overcome our unbelief in HIM! Thank God for how awesome he is. Loving us in such a way where he can and will restore our belief in who he is. 

So today, take a breather and raise your eyes to heaven and remind your heart to believe. Ask for your heavenly fathers help to believe. 

A Slave to Fear

When God wants to speak to you, it may not be in the conventional way of saying words into your ears. He speaks through many avenues. Over the past few years, I have dealt with the darkness that anxiety brings. It has been a hilly road and I have no doubt that it will continue to be so. 

Over the past week my anxiety levels have been running at high speed, chasing me into physical ailments and shoving me into the walls of my mind. If you have ever experienced these feelings, then you know. If you haven’t…then you can’t possibly understand. 

I become paralyzed by fear. Irrational fear. I can not even pinpoint one fear, I have them all. In the past few days, God has clearly spoken to me through the avenues of worship, His word and confirmed them by lovely, godly women in my life. 

No Longer Slaves by Bethel

1 John 4:18-19

I have been a slave to fear but the Bible tells me that perfect love casts out all fear. Therefore, I am no longer a slave to fear.

How powerful is that image? A slave. Someone bound to someone else or in this case something else. When I am living in fear, I am not living in the pure love that God has so freely given me. 

As I said, I don’t doubt that anxiety will completely leave me today and maybe not tomorrow. Why? Because I live in the world and as long as I am here, there will be trials. The trials make me stronger and bring glory to my Father. He is a good, good Father. 

I hope that you have found some encouragement in my words. If you struggle with anxiety and feel completely alone…well my dear friends know this…you are absolutely not alone! 

Potty Training

It might be time to potty train if:

Your child takes a wipe to themeselves in the middle of a diaper change. 

Your son strips down, takes off his diaper, wraps it up and throws it away before getting in the bathtub. 

Your child says yes when asked if they are pooping. 

Your daughter is saying “I stinky mommy! I don’t like poopy mommy!” In the middle of a diaper change. 

Your twins ask to sit on the toilet…but you tell them no. 

As a mother of four kids, one trained and three in diapers…the idea of potty training two children at the same time feels completely overwhelming. My twins will be three in January. They are both basically ready to be potty trained. I am not ready. 

Many people tell me that it is time, and I know this, but I have to be ready just as much as my kids have to be ready. For now, we are waiting for the holidays to pass before stepping foot into the world of panties and mattress covers. I am not looking forward to it all. Sure I am tired of constantly changing diapers, but the thoughts of wiping up pee or dealing with a kid who doesn’t like to poop on the potty…well it keeps me from starting. 

The likelihood of them being 15 and not potty trained is very slim, so in my mind, I have plenty of time. 

Until then, I will eat this tub of raw cookie dough and watch my son’s play on the bathtub. 

Peace Out…oh yeah, go vote!

The Good Ole Days

My father is a wise man. I enjoy hearing his opinions and taking in whatever wisdom he offers. Do I always agree with him? Of course not, but that doesn’t change the way I think about him. He is a father of four kids and a grandfather to eight going on nine kiddos, five and under. Let’s say the man has had some life experience. 

I, like my father, have four children. The days run me over like a MAC truck ramming over a soda can. Many days it is difficult to see the future due to the giant mountain standing right in front of me. The mountains change daily. Spilled blueberry smoothie all over the carpet, poop under your fingernail (insert gagging), or maybe my child’s attitude is appalling. During one of those moments of pure frustration, my dad leans over and says, “just remember…these are the good ole days.” 

In the moment I want to slap his words away from myself. Heck. To. The. No. Sir. Good ole days. Psh. Finally we are home and all children are in their beds sound asleep. I assess the damage of the day and sit down instead of cleaning. I go through photos on my phone and begin to recall the sweet moments from the days. Simple acts of love from my daughter reaching for my hand and holding it. My son making goofy faces to make me laugh or trying to distract my eyes from the mischief he was causing. My oldest girl telling endless made up knock knock jokes and laughing at her jokes that make no sense. 

My children bring me pure, unadaltered joy. They send rage coursing through my entire body. Their kisses on my cheek are overwhelmingly sweet and sticky with snot all at the same time. Their love for me is forgiving and full of grace. 

Being a parent is the hardest and most gratifying life decision I have ever made. I would not change these moments for anything because it is true…I am living in the good ole days. 


The thing that comes to haunt me in the night. Perfectionism is a ghost that trails behind me whispering in my ear all the faults I have made and constantly reminding me of the to do lists that have not been completed. 

I am a woman. I am a wife. I am a mom. All of these parts of me require work. Showering. Dressing. Learning my husband. Teaching my children. Cleaning. Cooking. Driving. Laundering (clothing not money). These are the basics. I can barely scrape my way through the basics. 

Eat healthy! Work those buns! See the latest eyeliner to make your eyes pop! What?! You aren’t contouring your make up?! What kind of woman are you? Ew the toilet seat has a ring? Lady when is the last time you cleaned that joker. Yoga pants again? 

When did the pressure come for me to be perfect? Has it always been there and I didn’t notice it? Have I slowly become more aware of it over the years?

Want to know the kicker? No one is holding me to these standards except me. In the end, I don’t truly care what others think of me as a mom. My husband praises me for the mom I am. I have no ending of encouragement from those around me and yet I get so angry at myself. 

I want to be the best but guess what…what’s think is best is likely not God’s best. I am not saying He doesn’t want me to clean my toilets but it for sure isn’t the end all be all of my life. 

2016. I want this year to be a year of awakening. In my spiritual life, my emotional life, and even my physical body. It takes one step at a time. When I fail? I need to pick myself up and keep going with the knowledge that I am not alone. That He sees me as a work in progress and I too should view myself that way. 

I have big plans for 2016 but if God has bigger plans? That is fine by me. 

Here is to a new year folks!